early january ramblings.

Lots of thoughts tumbling around in my head these days.  

For four weeks, we had David & Marissa here over Christmas break.  It was a good Christmas-New Year's-Marissa's birthday season, a blend of hectic, relaxing, slow, everything being different. They flew out early Saturday morning and as usual, we felt really sad the first day (Naomi & I both cried that day), and then things felt pretty normal within a couple of days.  Joshua pointed out the day before they left how weird that is, that when they're here it seems so normal, and that he hates how normal it seems when they leave again.

Before I go on, we must pause a moment for some photos from our Christmas break.

A height and age order photo in downtown Phoenix. It won't be long before Joshua is taller than Marissa, methinks. ;)

Dinner on Christmas Eve with a friend of David & Marissa's from Brasil who was here for two days.

This was our ninth year doing luminarias on Christmas Eve.  It also marked the twentieth anniversary of the Christmas Eve when Matt's mom went to bed and awoke in heaven.  We do these mostly in honor of her, since she loved so much to put out luminarias in her Sun City West neighborhood on Christmas Eve.

It was eleven years ago that our kids came up with the idea of sleeping by the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.  They don't miss a year, and it's fun to have David & Marissa home to be a part of this tradition they created.  I know it may not be long before we aren't all together for Christmas Eve, so I treasure very much these family moments. :)

It was a beautiful day for a hike when the kids and I drove out to the White Tanks Regional Park.  I think it was about two to three miles we hiked that day. It felt so great to be out-of-doors.  :)

Marissa & me on the hike. :)

Some of the beautiful Sonoran plant life I have grown to love so much.

Marissa's birthday, January 1, happened to be on First Friday this year, so we went to downtown Phoenix to explore... art galleries, music, and a coffee shop (in a house) to get Marissa some coffee.

Ah, she is 19 this year.  How is this possible?  So, so glad that God blessed our lives by making her.  I am so glad to be her mom & miss her so when she's not here, even as I thoroughly enjoy the fact that she is on her own at college, heading towards the place God has for her future.

Last Wednesday the kids' programs started back up at church, so after we dropped the kids off, we took David & Marissa out to the Village Inn restaurant.  It was free pie Wednesday, so we all got coffee and had a slice of pie. 

I love her. :)

Back to the idea of "normal."  What that looks like around here is really going to change again pretty soon...

It's been 5 weeks since we had our safety inspection for foster care.  We turned in all the rest of the needed paperwork and it's been eight days since our agency submitted the complete home study to the appropriate state department.  We've been told they usually take about 3 weeks to process but it could take longer because people are just coming back from the holidays.  And so now all we do is wait.

In the meantime, I've been collecting a few things for future placements.  Gotta love Goodwill, Craig's List, friends and a couple random items at our Beach House. 

Here's what we have so far: 
infant car seat
bottles
Baby Bjorn carrier
Kelty backpack
stroller
pack 'n play
crib
crib sheets & blanket
box of boy clothes up to about size 2

It's not much, but until we get a placement, it's a little hard to prepare since we don't know the age, size, gender, etc.

Waiting on our license to be issued is a little nerve-wracking for me as far as timing goes, because I have an art fair coming up a week from this Friday (Jan 22-24).  We've been told that because the need is so huge here that most people get a call with their first placement within hours of being licensed.

What I'm realizing is that I just can't worry about what would happen if we get a call the day before my art fair and have to say no. God's got this all figured out and he already knows which little person is going to be living here. And He knows about the art fair, too. 

I think at the beginning of a new year, the tendency is to think about goals and what you'd like to do differently, turn over a fresh leaf, that sort of thing. I definitely have things I'd like to improve upon personally for this new year.  A lot of bloggers like to choose a word for the year. As for me, I look at this year and the fact that we're about to be licensed for foster care, and can't begin to know what word might fit. I'm sure our lives are about to be rocked, both from all the headaches that can come from working with the foster care system and just plain from having a baby or toddler in the house after such a long time without littles around. 

So I'm just going to see what God has in store for us this year.  I'm sure there's a word I could come up with for that, like Trust or something, but I'm gonna just let God carry us and see where we end up.

being licensed for foster care.

We're on quite the adventure here, being licensed for foster care.  It's been pretty all-consuming and has been happening so quickly that it could be easy to forget when we completed each part of the process.  So I thought today I'd write about the process of being licensed for foster care here in Arizona. And then I'll tell you where we are on the journey in parentheses next to each item.  

**I've also updated the list as we've completed the rest of the process.**

I'm a to-do list addict, and so of course I've got one posted on the fridge with everything we still have to do yet.

1. Attend a foster care orientation. In Maricopa County, Arizona, you can go here to find one close to you (they are held often).  (Sept. 17)

2. Select a licensing agency and contact them about moving ahead with them. (Oct. 2)

3. Intake interview--a licensing worker comes to your home to meet you, do a quick walk-through of your home and have you sign on with them if you all agree that it's a good fit. (Oct. 8)

4. Paperwork before starting training:

• Applicant Statement of Understanding (Oct. 8)
• Initial Application (Oct. 13)
• Fingerprint clearance card application (Oct. 13; cards arrived Dec. 4)
• Criminal history self-disclosure affidavit (Oct. 8)
• Foster Care/Adoption Assessment Guide (lots of questions about each of us and how we handle stress, and other information like our budget, too. I can't remember everything this form asked.) (Oct. 13)
• At least five references are required; the licensing agency will contact them. (Oct 13)

5. PS-MAPP training (30 hours of intensive training required for all foster &/or adoptive families) (our expedited Saturday classes started on Oct. 17 & finished on Nov. 21)

6. Required documents:

• Physician's statement for both spouses (Nov. 19)
• Health self-disclosure for both spouses (Nov. 19)
• Current car insurance (Nov. 19)
• Current car registration (Nov. 19)
• Drivers licenses (Nov. 19)
• Income verification for one month (Nov. 19)
• Immunization records for all children in home (Nov. 19)
• Marriage license (Nov. 19)
• Birth certificates (Dec. 3)
• Current rabies vaccination document for dogs (Nov. 19)
• Evacuation plan (must be displayed in the home) (Dec. 1)
• Current CPR/First Aid training certificate (CPR: Dec 10, First Aid: Dec 11)

7. Life-Safety Inspection, completed by the state's Office of Licensing, Certification and Regulation, aka OLCR (this takes several weeks to get scheduled, so our licensing worker applied for it immediately once we signed on)  (We passed on Dec. 8th!)

8. Home study: someone from your licensing agency meets with you several times in your home to interview the couple together and each person in the home individually. (First meeting Nov. 19, second interview Dec. 3)

9. Once everything is together, your licensing agency submits your whole application to the OLCR (the same agency who does the Life-Safety Inspection)  (Jan. 4)

10. After the OLCR issues your license (usually takes about 3 weeks but may be slower because of Christmas), you wait for a placement.

So what still has to happen before we get licensed? (Updated Jan. 5)

• We're now in the stage where we wait for our complete application to be reviewed.  Our agency says the department that issues licenses usually takes about three weeks but that it could be longer with everyone coming back after the holidays.
• The need is huge, so we will probably get a call with a potential placement fairly soon after being licensed. We can say no to a call if it doesn't seem like a good fit. But we could potentially have a child in our home in a few weeks!

Pics of some of what we're doing to get ready for our inspection in two weeks...

Ah, yes, the rest of the tile project, in the entry and half bath, needs to be completed before our inspection.  And new baseboards need to be in place, as well.

All cleaning supplies, chemicals & medicines have to be locked up.  We have a lot of cleaning stuff in our laundry room.  Medicines are in the pantry on the main floor, and we will have various chemicals in a cabinet in the garage.

Changed out door handles on the laundry room and pantry to ones with locks.

Found a couple broken outlet covers & replaced them.

Got fire extinguishers, one for each floor.  They have to be at least 1A10BC rated.

Found a blank plate for a place in our living room that has wires for the built-in speakers.

Have to fix our shower drain and repair the corresponding hole in our kitchen ceiling.  Also as a side job, while we have a hole in the kitchen ceiling, we'll be installing several recessed light fixtures above the sink and counters.

Several of our smoke detectors were broken and/or missing, so we got replacements (in the box there) that will need to be wired into the existing system.

This is outside our front door.  We can't have any flaking paint, so we have to take off the flaking paint and re-paint.  The back patio has the same problem.

More flaking paint outside.

so. many. hats.

Wife. Mom. Teacher. Chef. Laundress. Housekeeper. Bill Payer. Vacation Rental Manager. Artist. (etc.)

I've tried before to write this post.  But every time, I've been afraid it sounds like complaining and haven't hit the "publish" button.  In fact, today as I started out, I found a draft from five years ago about the stages of motherhood and how many "hats" I wear. Too weird.

So my aim today is to write this with a grateful heart.  Because I really am thankful to be in this place and this time in my life.  

I am so, so happy to be at home with my kids.  I love homeschooling them.  It's not always easy, it has its challenges and I've cried many tears over this whole adventure, but I can't imagine doing this any other way.  It's a good fit for our family.  (I get it, that it's not for everybody.  So please, please don't feel I'm judging anybody when I say how much I love homeschooling my own kids.)

Some days, I feel super organized, like "we can do this!" and then the next day, I wonder how in the world I can do any of the things I'm supposed to do right.  Getting back into school after our long Christmas break this year has been (is) hard.  Time management has been a real struggle.  So on Tuesday when we got started at a decent time, I felt great.  It was one of those "we can do this!" days.  Yesterday, however, I was beginning to feel the weight of my failed responsibilities.

So, late in the afternoon I just told myself that it's not realistic to live with that pressure.  And I did what I needed to do with the time left in the day.  I was chef and 5th grade teacher.  Never mind that it was our day to do exercises and go for a walk.  Never mind that I was very much wanting to finish a painting that's sitting on my easel.  Those things would just have to wait.

And it was good. I managed to help Naomi work through her math and her sentence diagramming while cooking a delicious, healthy meal. 

I am not perfect, I won't ever be able to get it all done, but God is good.  He gives me the strength to do the most important things and the ability to recognize that not every day is going to go according to plan.

I am so glad that my worth isn't based on whether or not I can truly fulfill the full definition of any of my individual roles. Thank you, God! :)

it's my one decade craniversary!

Craniversary.  That's what a lot of brain surgery survivors like to call the anniversary of their craniotomy.... and ten years ago today, I had brain surgery to remove a meningioma brain tumor.  

This morning at church, it seemed rather fitting that the first song we sang was "Blessed be Your Name." Ten years ago, Tree63's version of that song played a lot on the radio and was the key song in the soundtrack of my whole brain tumor diagnosis and surgery. 

Our family, August 2004, just before my first MRI.  The one that revealed the meningioma.

Below is what I wrote about the whole experience on my Caringbridge page after being home about a week after my surgery.  (I must point out that I was rather heavy on the exclamation points.)

Just after being wheeled to my room in the ICU. It's funny, but I was wondering if I should smile at Matt when he took these shots, and opted for the more "serious" look since I'd just had brain surgery.

WOW!! GOD IS AWESOME!!

Thanks so much for praying for us during my surgery and the beginning of my recovery! We can REALLY tell God is answering your prayers!!

There is so much to tell about the surgery, it's hard to know where to start! We believe it went about as well as it could have... Dr. Ciric and his team were able to remove the WHOLE tumor! The tumor was wrapped more around my optic nerve than could be seen from the MRI, so that was a surprise, and they were also able to remove the part that was around my internal carotid artery. It was a HUGE answer to prayer!

I knew God was with us, answering prayers, on the morning of my surgery. I awoke at 2:30 a.m. with a racing heart. I knew I couldn't live like that for 5 hours until my surgery, so I asked God to help me. I felt a calm wash over me, and then I laid in bed, with praise songs running through my mind. It was very cool!

We were able to get special permission for Matt to go into the holding area--where they normally don't let anyone go with the patient--so he could talk with Dr. Ciric ahead of the surgery, as well. We met and talked with the anesthesiology team, who were both from the Ann Arbor area, where we lived for a couple of years. :)

As time went on, I became more and more calm. I asked the anesthesiology resident if people ever go into the OR without the "cocktail" she was going to give me to relax. She said sometimes they do, and if I changed my mind that it was drawn up and she could give it to me.

I said goodbye to Matt, and the anesthesiologists rolled me down the hall to the OR. We talked on the way about Michigan and what church we go to. As they rolled me into the OR, Dr. Ciric said, "Oh, she's not sleeping!". I said, "No, I wanted to be awake!". They wheeled me to the OR table and asked me if I wanted to put myself onto it. So, I did.

I laid there looking up at the huge lights and thinking, "Wow! I should be SO freaked out right now, but I'm not!" I KNEW it was God making me so calm & peaceful! I silently prayed as quickly as I could for everyone I knew would be worrying during my surgery. The nurse squeezed my hands a couple of times as the oxygen mask was put over my nose and they asked me to take a couple of breaths.

I squeezed back, and the next thing I knew it felt like I'd been dreaming a little while, and I was waking up! It was so interesting feeling myself waking up. They let Matt come into recovery with me! :) And Dr. Ciric told us that they got the whole tumor!!

The whole experience at Evanston Hospital was wonderful! We had so many great nurses, nurses' assistants, neurosurgery residents, food service people, etc. It was really amazing! The cultural diversity was so refreshing... we met people from Jamaica, India, Nigeria, etc. and heard about some of their families. It was really great!

We've been home for over a week now, and every day I feel more and more like my normal self. Today, the staples were removed at Dr. Rovin's office (one of the local neurosurgeons). Everyone was so glad to hear that our experience at Evanston went so great!

My parents stayed almost a week after we returned, and we were all sad to see them leave. It was such a HUGE blessing that they watched the 4 older kids and helped so much around here after our return! We were also SO thankful for our friends Jim & Jane, who watched Naomi... we felt bad taking her away from them! They were having such fun with her!!

We have help through church and Youth for Christ with food and childcare. It's so amazing how much God's family wants to help us!! Thanks so much to all of you out there, who are praying, writing, helping with the kids & making food, just to name a few of the things we know you're doing! We appreciate you all so much!

God is SO great!!
Amy & Matt,
David, Marissa, Joshua, Jesse & Naomi :)

do it yourself car repair. (day twenty-one, write31days)

We've been going through things in the house and listing them for sale.  One of the bigger items we need to sell is our minivan, so we've been doing things to it to get it ready.  YouTube is a great place to find videos for car repairs, and we've saved ourselves so much money by buying the parts and learning how to do the work ourselves.  (I say "ourselves," but really it's Matt doing the work and me providing moral support, holding lights and that sort of thing.)

Last Saturday, we replaced the alternator, which was making a crazy loud noise.  Last night we got a new battery because the van suddenly didn't want to start, and the tester at the car parts place said it was bad.  But we were able to get a discount because it was prorated under the warranty.  Yay! :)

The automatic sliding door had stopped working some months ago.  Now, I really don't mind using my hands to close a door.  But if you're trying to sell a vehicle that's supposed to have an automatic door and it doesn't work, people don't like that.  And if we're going to get the price we need out of this van, we need things to work before people start looking at it.  (Also, this is a crazy-easy repair, so anyone with one of these vans shouldn't have to live with that door not working!)

So yesterday after I was done working on school with the kids, I looked at my favorite place to find repair help, Youtube.  As I watched one of the videos I found, I realized the problem was a broken wire, and that I was completely able to diagnose the problem while Matt was at work, and then let him do the soldering part once he got home.

So that's what we did, and it was an amazing thing to press the button for the door and see it close the way it used to do! :)

let's try this again. (day seventeen, write31days)

This week, I have really been going back & forth on whether to keep doing this challenge.  First, I decided *not* to do it, then the next day decided to keep at it, and later concluded that I will do it, just not *every* day.  I've already succeeded in writing more often on my blog, which was my reason for signing up for this thing.

Here's what we've been up to these past few days...
Yesterday, I was part of a fun online event.  A woman I follow on Instagram (@atticseventeen) buys & resells vintage items in her etsy shop.  Every now & then she does a "recipes found in the attic" cooking event, where she sends vintage recipes to a certain number of people (those who sign up first) and has everyone cook on a certain day and post their photos on Instagram with the hashtag #recipesfoundintheattic.  (Click here to see all of them.)  

The theme of yesterday's cooking event was "Comfort Food" and she sent recipes to 60 people.  I got a recipe for coconut-pecan frosting, which was actually somewhat disappointing in that I have made this several times before, so it wasn't anything new to me.  But, since we love German Chocolate cake here, it wasn't *that* disappointing.

Here are my Instagram contributions yesterday...

Getting ready to make coconut-pecan frosting as part of the #recipesfoundintheattic Recipe Making Day from @atticseventeen today! And of course, I must make a German Chocolate cake to showcase this frosting. Just so happens to be my husband's favorite cake.

And now we just wait for everything to cool before I frost the cake. #recipesfoundintheattic @atticseventeen

Since this was a vintage recipe, it seemed only fitting to put the cake on a vintage plate that belonged to my mother-in-law. #recipesfoundintheattic @atticseventeen

We're working on a "bring David & Marissa home for Christmas" fund, going through the house finding things to sell.  I've got several items listed on ebay at the moment and plan to list things on Craig's List as well as have a garage sale soon.  Anybody want a broken digital camera?  Current bid is 99 cents.  Believe it or not, people actually buy these sorts of things. ;)

Pumpkin carving going on here today.  And that's my current painting sitting on the easel there. :)

The kids are carving pumpkins today.  Matt & I went to the store the other night for some grocery shopping and found big pumpkins for only $2.50 each, so we had to get one for each of the kids.  They're having fun with it. :)


Today is overcast nice and cool, and the doors are open. 

i love this time of year. (day 14, write31days)

Yesterday, I started out the day somewhat in a funk.  But thankfully, things improved.  Just before dinner, I had the kids help me tidy up the house a bit.  And after dinner, I was able to make some good headway on a new painting.  By bedtime, I felt really at peace.

 

The cheerful feelings just spilled over onto this morning, and it was so nice enjoying our second day of having the doors & windows open all day, instead of having to close it all up and turn on the air conditioner.  

I love this time of year.  It's like the on/off switch for the heat finally turns off and we can really enjoy the outdoors again.

second thoughts. (day 13, write31days)

I'm seriously having second thoughts about this challenge.  Really, I've already failed because I haven't written a post every day.  The reality is that I miss a few days & write several posts in one sitting. 

Maybe I should have done a once a week challenge to start with?  Now, that would be more realistic.

Somebody give me a reason why I should keep this up.

good news. (day 12, write31days)

Just a quick update about my MRI, from my Facebook status update on Friday evening:

"Just got my MRI report, and while I was reading it, also got the call from Dr. Spetzler's office. Everything looks great, with no sign of recurrence of my brain tumor! They recommend that I have my next MRI in 5 years instead of in two, since it's been a decade since my brain surgery and everything still looks great."

It's actually been a bit overwhelming this weekend, seeing the number of people responding to this news.  It's had over 100 likes and quite a few comments.  Wow!

All I can say is that God is good, no matter what the outcome would have been.  Both in the all-clear report, and in the case of something much worse.  But I'm very thankful for this good news! :)

organizing (day 11, write31days)

There's this space in our kitchen where all my paper piles collect.  I had it fairly well organized a few years ago, but it was badly cluttered and in need of help.

I hadn't really set out to do this project today, but turned my angst about our household clutter into getting "all in" with this for most of the day.  (You have to start somewhere, right?)  It feels really good, because it's been something that was bothering me for a long time.

In process...

And after...

I didn't think to take a "before" photo, but trust me.  It was bad. 

The notebooks are where I file important papers, and the reason this area was such a mess is that the notebooks were full and I had nowhere to file new papers that came in.  So when I filed away the old stuff, it freed up the notebooks for current papers.  Yay!  I feel so organized again. 

I keep looking at this corner because it makes me feel so good. :)

working at home. (day 10, write31days)

In addition to doing homeschool with our three youngest kids, I also run two home businesses.  One of them is fairly successful and the other is still in the building-up phase.  

Marquette Beach House
When we moved to Arizona in 2007, we knew we wanted to keep our house on Lake Superior, so we decided to turn it into a vacation rental (click the title above to see our website). It's been quite a learning experience and definitely has had its ups and downs, but overall I really love being the manager.  

This was from our time at the Beach House this June.  Always so nice to spend time there each summer in a sort of working vacation, as we work on whatever needs updating for the season. :)

This time of year, though, I'm definitely glad the season is winding down because all summer, I'm basically on call 24/7, even when we're on vacation.  In early August on our trip to the Grand Canyon, I was wielding phone calls and taking new reservations.  I was super thankful for unexpectedly good cell reception at our campsite and for wifi at the Grand Canyon general store. ;)

Today, our quarterly sales tax report was due.  I'd put it off because the third quarter is really busy, so it takes a while to figure out the numbers.  So today I sat down, made myself work on it and was able to get it reported this morning.  Yay! :)

ART by Amelia Kay
For months I've been meaning to update my art business website.  It's rather tedious, and since it takes time away from actually painting, I'm not very keen on taking time to work on it. 

Today I forced myself to sit at the computer and work on the website.  The work took all afternoon, but I now have all of my current work for sale listed on my site!  It had been an entire year since I'd added any new paintings, and I really need to keep things more up-to-date than that from here on out.  (Click on the heading above if you'd like to see my site in its current state.)  I'm not finished with all the updates, but this was a good start.

"Pumpkins"
Original Acrylic, Oct. 2013
10" x 10" stretched canvas
$125

I've been having more philosophical thoughts about working from home, but when I try to translate those thoughts into words, they don't quite say what I want them to say.  So, at least for now, that will have to wait.  I do like the freedom of being able to work on my own schedule and to be with our kids.  Praying for more art sales to really make the art business turn a profit one of these years. ;)

rend collective. (day 9, write31days)

Several months ago, I saw something on Facebook about a praise & worship band from Ireland called Rend Collective.  When I checked them out online, I loved them, and since that time, my favorite station on Pandora has been "Rend Collective Radio".  So when I heard they were coming to Phoenix on their Art of Celebration tour, I knew I wanted to go.  Matt said we'd make a date of it.

Last night was the night. :)  More than a concert, it was an incredible praise & worship time.  Imagine the whole arena filled with people raising their voices to God and singing along.  It's hard to describe, but it was kind of like a foretaste of heaven, worshiping together, celebrating the salvation we have in Christ and the freedom that comes along with that.  Oh, and there were bubbles and confetti, and giant beach balls, too.  It was SO good.  

All day today, I've had their songs running through my head, and the words are just so incredible.  

Click here to hear one of their songs...




"Boldly I Approach (The Art Of Celebration)"

By grace alone somehow I stand
Where even angels fear to tread
Invited by redeeming love
Before the throne of God above
He pulls me close with nail-scarred hands
Into His everlasting arms
 
When condemnation grips my heart
And Satan tempts me to despair
I hear the voice that scatters fear
The Great I Am the Lord is here
Oh praise the One who fights for me
And shields my soul eternally
 
Boldly I approach Your throne
Blameless now I'm running home
By Your blood I come
Welcomed as Your own
Into the arms of majesty
 
Behold the bright and risen Son
More beauty than this world has known
I'm face to face with Love Himself
His perfect spotless righteousness
A thousand years, a thousand tongues
Are not enough to sing His praise
 
Boldly I approach Your throne
Blameless now I'm running home
By Your blood I come
Welcomed as Your own
Into the arms of majesty [x2]
 
This is the art of celebration
Knowing we're free from condemnation
Oh praise the One, praise the One
Who made an end to all my sin [x2]
 
Boldly I approach Your throne
Blameless now I'm running home
By Your blood I come
Welcomed as Your own
Into the arms of majesty

keeping our fears inside. (day 8, write31days)

I do a lot of deep, introspective thinking in the shower.  One time when I said something to the kids about an idea I had in the shower, they thought that was weird.  Somebody tell me I'm not the only one to think deep thoughts in the shower. Anyway, back to those thoughts I was thinking yesterday. 

I think sometimes we as homeschooling moms are afraid to talk about our shortcomings or the things that worry us about homeschooling, like "am I teaching my kids all they need to know?", "ugh, I'm not very good at teaching science," "oh, man, do I waste a lot of time," that sort of thing.  I think the reason we don't want to talk about our inadequacies and fears is because we feel like everyone is watching us, keeping an eye on us and making sure we're living up to whatever expectations people have for our kids' educations.  Whether it's neighbors, relatives, people at church, I think we're a bit afraid to open up too much because then people will think we're not doing it good enough.  

And so doing a 31-day writing challenge about our not-so-perfect homeschooling family is a little scary for me.  The other day I wrote about how late it was getting in the day, and I thought the boys were doing math and Naomi was sleeping on the couch.  But the truth is, I know they're learning enough and we always get caught up when they're sick (as Naomi was for two days this week).  

After keeping at it as long as I have, I now have the added benefit of knowing that my first two students made it all the way through high school, scored well on the ACT and got into college.  And they're doing well in college, too, which can't help but reassure this homeschooling mom.

So that's encouragement to me in the place where I am with the younger kids, to know that they will be okay even if we miss something.  I read somewhere recently that we all have holes, including those of us who were educated in the system.  It's just how it works.  The really cool thing is that we all can read and learn and fill in those holes in our own education as we continue to grow and learn as adults.  Education doesn't stop when you earn your diploma or degree.  For that I'm really glad. :)

thankful and waiting. (day 7, write31days)

So last night was my every-other-year MRI, and it was kind of a fun evening with Matt.  We got to downtown Phoenix an hour before I needed to check in, and got a bite to eat.  I got to the facility 15 minutes early and got all the paperwork taken care of by the time we were supposed to be there.  So they took me back early and we were out of there by 7:30.  

Going on our MRI date felt really special, because during the day yesterday I had been getting nervous about the unknowns, as I tend to do every time I'm up for my MRI.  But hanging out with Matt through the evening reminded me that if this MRI or any future ones show anything, that he will be right by my side through whatever it might be.  Just like he was through the whole diagnosis and brain surgery ten years ago.  I am blessed.  :)

After the MRI, waiting for them to burn the CD of images for me. :)

I requested a CD of the scan, so shortly after we got home I looked through all the images.  I'm not trained in reading MRIs, but from what I can remember from previous MRIs of my brain, I think things look good.  But.  There's a reason we pay the neuroradiologists and the neurosurgeons to look at these things.  So I'll wait for their report and phone call to see what they think. :) 

Look, there's still a brain in my head! :)  As far as I can tell, it looks good... but we'll wait to see what the MRI report says. ;)

mondays are hard. (day 6, write31days)

Mondays are always tough, because our kids do a lot of socializing on the weekends, and getting focused back in on school is hard to do.  I hate being the one in charge of pulling it all together, but alas, since I'm the homeschooling mom, I guess that's the way it has to be.  

So here is it, 10:30 in the morning and I'm catching up on my 31 days writing challenge. (I cleaned up Friday's post that I messily published on my phone on Saturday, and wrote Saturday's & Sunday's today.  So much for writing every day for 31 days, right?)  We haven't pulled together to do Bible time, which is normally my way of getting us going.  I think the boys are working on math.  Naomi is asleep on the couch beside me.  She's complaining of her ears hurting, and I may not get much school done with her today.  We shall see how she feels.

Things are pretty quiet here at the moment, and I guess I'll just gently ease us into the week's work today.  

Tonight is my biannual (every-other-year) MRI of my brain.  Long-time readers of this blog will know that I had a meningioma brain tumor diagnosed & removed in 2004.  Later this month will be my one decade "craniversary", the anniversary of my craniotomy.  I have an MRI of my brain every two years, and tonight's the night.  I always feel a little nervous that they might find some new tumor growth or maybe there were some tiny cells left that have begun to grow, even though it seemed they got it all.  So far, every time I've had a follow-up MRI, it has come up clean.  But if you've had someone tell you that you had a brain tumor, you can't help but be aware that it could happen again.  And as the neurosurgeon I saw six years ago said in reference to recurrence rates, "Well, obviously you've shown you have the ability to grow a meningioma."

So I'm praying that if there's a brain tumor, they will be able to see it clearly tonight.  And of course, we pray there isn't one.  One good thing about all of this is that I find being in the MRI machine quite relaxing.  A lot of people are claustrophobic, so the process of just having the MRI done is very stressful to them, never mind all the wondering about what it might find.  I at least don't mind the process and for that, I am thankful. :)

I will post an update later this week or maybe next when I find out the results.