The title of this post sounds really epic, like I'm about to say something really profound. Truth is, I'm just trying to be real.
I don't really talk about these feelings (except with Matt) because it doesn't feel safe. I think most moms struggle with some of these feelings in regard to parenting in general. But when you're also the teacher, it's magnified because there is an underlying fear that everybody is watching to make sure you're getting it right. And so I don't talk about it.
The other day when I posted our first day of school photos, it seemed like a good time to say something about our curriculum and what we do for school. But I'm afraid when I do that, sometimes it comes across all wrong.
So I am here today to say that homeschooling is hard. It's a full-time job that never really feels done. Maybe I look calm & confident, but sometimes I lie awake at night hashing things over in my mind. I'm constantly evaluating and judging myself and coming up feeling inadequate.
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| A first day of school photo that didn't make its way here before today. Just so you know, Naomi may look studious here, but she was just drawing in a notebook. |
I don't really talk about these feelings (except with Matt) because it doesn't feel safe. I think most moms struggle with some of these feelings in regard to parenting in general. But when you're also the teacher, it's magnified because there is an underlying fear that everybody is watching to make sure you're getting it right. And so I don't talk about it.
I must admit that I have more confidence now because I'm on the other side with our two oldest kids. I have the advantage of having seen them do well on the ACT, finish homeschool and get into college. They're doing well and although I know I didn't have it all figured out in their homeschool years, they are holding their own out there in the world.
It's hard work and at times I feel very inadequate, but it is working. I am thankful for the freedom to teach my own kids... and it does work for our family, even with the ebb & flow of emotions that come along with it.
Please know that I would be the first to tell you I don't have it all together. I'm not over here in my house judging the moms whose kids go to school or whose grown kids went to school. You're good moms, with your own stories, making the choices that work best for you and the family God has blessed you with. Being a mom is a tough job and I respect you.
It's hard work and at times I feel very inadequate, but it is working. I am thankful for the freedom to teach my own kids... and it does work for our family, even with the ebb & flow of emotions that come along with it.
Please know that I would be the first to tell you I don't have it all together. I'm not over here in my house judging the moms whose kids go to school or whose grown kids went to school. You're good moms, with your own stories, making the choices that work best for you and the family God has blessed you with. Being a mom is a tough job and I respect you.
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| Oh, yeah, this is us. We've got it *allll* together... ;) |
1 comment:
Can I just 'like' this post? :)
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