Today is our Jessica's golden birthday... eighteen on the eighteenth. Well, it would have been if she had lived. It's very surreal to think that we would have two kids 18 & older. But I guess what's really weird is thinking about her death in light of the fact that we've had a child grow up & leave the house now.
If Jessica were alive, we would be anticipating--with some dread--her finishing high school and moving on to college later this year. I realize after experiencing having a child leave home and move 2,000 miles away that although we miss David a lot, we can still talk to him, text him, email him, Skype him, visit him, etc. The relationship continues, just in a different way.
When a child dies, that is the end until we get to heaven. Wow. It kind of puts things into perspective.
I am so very glad that because Matt & I--and our kids--placed our trust in Jesus as our personal Savior, one day we will see Jessica again. In heaven. Thank you, God, for the gift of eternal life through Jesus dying for us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jessica Kay
Our second child was due when David was only 16 months old, on March 29, 1995. During the whole pregnancy I had thought it would be special if the baby was born on St. Patrick’s Day, my mom’s birthday. At the time, I was working half-time as a secretary/receptionist, and by the end of the morning on my mom’s birthday, I had everything in place for my replacement during my maternity leave.
Everything felt ready. I had been looking forward all winter long to this birth, to meeting this new little person we called Jesse/Jessie (we’d decided at 6 months along to name the baby Jesse or Jessica, after Matt’s grandfather Jesse). I knew I was ready for this birth, and confident that I could do it. It was all somewhat fresh in my mind from the first time, and this time I wasn’t afraid of the unknown. It was so much easier approaching labor that way!
On Friday evening, about 8:00 pm, Matt was talking with a friend on the phone when I felt the first contractions. I thought, “Hmm… how interesting, maybe I’m actually going into labor on my mom’s birthday?” I figured the baby wouldn’t be born on that day, though, since my first labor had been 26 hours from start to finish and I could tell this wasn’t starting off as a super-fast labor just by how the contractions felt.
Around 11:15 pm, I decided to get some sleep. I awoke just before 1:00 am, having regular, stronger contractions. I went in the living room of our tiny apartment so I could relax through them in the easy chair and write down the times they started. After a while doing this, I decided to wake Matt. When I went in to tell him it was time, he said something like, “Can you wait a while longer?” of course not knowing that I already had waited for a while. So he got up and called our friend Mike to come be with David while we went to the hospital.
We got there about 2:45 am, and the nurse at the desk said something like, “We’ll check you to see if you’re staying,” and I thought to myself that we were definitely staying. When I was checked a few minutes later, they discovered I was already dilated to 6 centimeters! I was pleased that our doctor was already in the hospital for another labor, so we didn’t have to worry about her making it there in the middle of the night. The nurse assigned to us was a classmate of Matt’s from high school and she was very talkative throughout the labor.
An hour later, I was dilated to 9 centimeters. The nurse was so amazed that I was really that far along and said she wouldn’t believe it if she hadn’t checked me. My doctor told me I looked beautiful. I think she was trying to be encouraging, but I sure didn’t feel beautiful right then!
About an hour later, I was fully dilated and they broke the bed down for the birth. I started tentatively pushing around 5:00 a.m. but didn’t feel very motivated at all. After a bit of this, I started feeling discouraged and said something to that effect. But the attending doctor in the room reminded me that I hadn’t really been pushing very seriously for very long. It really wasn’t a very long second stage, and they had a mirror set up so I could see what was happening. When the baby started to crown, I felt a lot of burning, which I had not experienced before, so that was a bit hard to deal with. But after a couple more contractions, the baby was out.
I was so excited to see that we had a daughter! We named her Jessica Kay, in honor of Matt’s paternal grandfather Jesse. Kay is my middle name and my mother’s as well, and I always wanted to give my first daughter the same middle name.
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| Awww, sweet sleeping newborn Jessica. I miss her. |
If Jessica were alive, we would be anticipating--with some dread--her finishing high school and moving on to college later this year. I realize after experiencing having a child leave home and move 2,000 miles away that although we miss David a lot, we can still talk to him, text him, email him, Skype him, visit him, etc. The relationship continues, just in a different way.
When a child dies, that is the end until we get to heaven. Wow. It kind of puts things into perspective.
I am so very glad that because Matt & I--and our kids--placed our trust in Jesus as our personal Savior, one day we will see Jessica again. In heaven. Thank you, God, for the gift of eternal life through Jesus dying for us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And, on a lighter note, here is her birth story.
Because I love to hear, read, and tell birth stories. Yes, I know. I am a birth junkie.
Jessica Kay
March 18, 1995
5:42 a.m.
7 lb. 5.8 oz
19 ½ inches long
5:42 a.m.
7 lb. 5.8 oz
19 ½ inches long
Our second child was due when David was only 16 months old, on March 29, 1995. During the whole pregnancy I had thought it would be special if the baby was born on St. Patrick’s Day, my mom’s birthday. At the time, I was working half-time as a secretary/receptionist, and by the end of the morning on my mom’s birthday, I had everything in place for my replacement during my maternity leave.
Everything felt ready. I had been looking forward all winter long to this birth, to meeting this new little person we called Jesse/Jessie (we’d decided at 6 months along to name the baby Jesse or Jessica, after Matt’s grandfather Jesse). I knew I was ready for this birth, and confident that I could do it. It was all somewhat fresh in my mind from the first time, and this time I wasn’t afraid of the unknown. It was so much easier approaching labor that way!
On Friday evening, about 8:00 pm, Matt was talking with a friend on the phone when I felt the first contractions. I thought, “Hmm… how interesting, maybe I’m actually going into labor on my mom’s birthday?” I figured the baby wouldn’t be born on that day, though, since my first labor had been 26 hours from start to finish and I could tell this wasn’t starting off as a super-fast labor just by how the contractions felt.
Around 11:15 pm, I decided to get some sleep. I awoke just before 1:00 am, having regular, stronger contractions. I went in the living room of our tiny apartment so I could relax through them in the easy chair and write down the times they started. After a while doing this, I decided to wake Matt. When I went in to tell him it was time, he said something like, “Can you wait a while longer?” of course not knowing that I already had waited for a while. So he got up and called our friend Mike to come be with David while we went to the hospital.
We got there about 2:45 am, and the nurse at the desk said something like, “We’ll check you to see if you’re staying,” and I thought to myself that we were definitely staying. When I was checked a few minutes later, they discovered I was already dilated to 6 centimeters! I was pleased that our doctor was already in the hospital for another labor, so we didn’t have to worry about her making it there in the middle of the night. The nurse assigned to us was a classmate of Matt’s from high school and she was very talkative throughout the labor.
An hour later, I was dilated to 9 centimeters. The nurse was so amazed that I was really that far along and said she wouldn’t believe it if she hadn’t checked me. My doctor told me I looked beautiful. I think she was trying to be encouraging, but I sure didn’t feel beautiful right then!
About an hour later, I was fully dilated and they broke the bed down for the birth. I started tentatively pushing around 5:00 a.m. but didn’t feel very motivated at all. After a bit of this, I started feeling discouraged and said something to that effect. But the attending doctor in the room reminded me that I hadn’t really been pushing very seriously for very long. It really wasn’t a very long second stage, and they had a mirror set up so I could see what was happening. When the baby started to crown, I felt a lot of burning, which I had not experienced before, so that was a bit hard to deal with. But after a couple more contractions, the baby was out.
I was so excited to see that we had a daughter! We named her Jessica Kay, in honor of Matt’s paternal grandfather Jesse. Kay is my middle name and my mother’s as well, and I always wanted to give my first daughter the same middle name.
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